My husband is bipolar.
that sentence can stand alone because it affects every aspect of our life and sometimes is the bane of my existence and sometimes is the magic that keeps the world spinning - sometimes the manic and sometimes the depression - like Jimi Hendrix said, manic depression it touches my soul - the fight against suppression of personality and brillance for the sake of linear and singular thoughts - the desire for more - the self-medication to seek balance - the crawling away to lick wounds self-inflicted - the five radio stations playing in a brain that wants coherence - anger that will not abate for reasons irrational - blame assigned for self-preservation - love that cannot understand - friends who will not stay the course - marriages which fail in almost the 75th percent range - suicide for over 40% - and PAIN, pain of daily living which is only dimmed by strict adherence to medical intervention.
Because I love this man, and because I said I would be with him through sickness and health, and because I love him with all my heart - all of him - this is our existence. But let me tell you about the side which struggles to be free - he has loved four near adult step-children as if they were his own, he loves all animals and has brought pigs and dogs into our lives, he is Poppie to our two grandsons and is worshipped, compassion for the homeless, love for the Lord. He loves me. I love him.
Flusi
1 comment:
Hi Flusi,
I'm finally getting around to checking out blogs from other Newbery Project people...yours was the first one I clicked on since you commented on The Bronze Bow...
My husband is bipolar too. And, yes, it affects everything. We went through a two-year process of getting him diagnosed, stable, and on the right mix of medications. And now our life is somewhat normal...
But what a journey. I'm guessing you have lots of stories you could tell too and have been through all kinds of suffering together as well.
Hang in there.
Joanne
Psalm 40:1-3!
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